The Real Online Dating Experience Series: Male Case Study 1 (Interview #1)

The Real Online Dating Experience Series: Male Case Study 1 (Interview #1)

First, click here to find out everything you need to know about this series.

Male Case Study 1:  Interview #1–Introduction

I think I’ll call him Tigers Eye.

Read on to get to know him.

Introduce yourself.

Make a comment.

Ask questions.

Q1:  Let’s begin at the beginning.  What kind of man are you?  In other words, how do you describe yourself?  [I ask him to remove his sun glasses to ensure good eye contact.  He resists a little, but removes them.]

Tigers Eye:   I’m dedicated when I’m in a relationship.  I’m committed when I’m in a relationship.  I’m also stubborn, somewhat romantic, but deep down a little hardcore.  At the end of the day, I’m a good partner.  I love my kids dearly.  What I want to say is that I was raised by many women.  I try to be a friend, a partner, a good listener, and a good lover, but I’m still learning as I grow older.  I’m a guy that prefers family life over a single’s life.  I’m a one-woman man.

[He pauses to take a sip of his margarita].

Q2:   It’s clear that a growing number of people are choosing to use online dating services.  Some people are looking for the person of their dreams to marry and share a lifetime.  Many want to establish new friendships. Others are just looking for a date for the night.  What led you to consider an online dating service?

Tigers Eye:   I wanted to try something new.  Online dating seemed to offer something different from a club scene, bar scene, or meeting people at work.  I wanted the experience what I had when I lived in New York years ago.  I was used to meeting people with different backgrounds and cultures.

Q3 (Follow-up):  Were you in a relationship or coming out of a relationship?  What was going on in your life at that time?

Tigers Eye:   I was going through a divorce after over 10 years of marriage.  I was enjoying hanging out with my friends at a favorite local spot, but I wanted something different. I wanted to see if I could experience something different than what I had already experienced.  The online dating services seemed to offer me a chance to meet women on my own terms.  I really just wanted to talk to women.

Q4 (Follow-up):  You mentioned that you were going through a divorce.  What was your emotional state at that time?

Tigers Eye:   I think I was in a pretty good place.  Like any guy [going through a divorce], I felt that I was back out here in the game.  I played for awhile. But after some time, I was looking for someone who wanted to be in a committed relationship.

Q5:  My research shows that online dating services began in the late 1990s, and the number of services has grown significantly.  There seems to be a service available for everyone.  What online dating services have you used and which one did you like best?  [He makes a call.  Yes, in the middle of the interview.  Needless-to-say, I am irritated by this. Then, he has the nerve to get impatient because he says it’s hot out here.  We’re sitting outside at a café.]

Tigers Eye:   I had a few friends who were using Match.com, Singlesmeet.com, Blackplanet.com, and eHarmony.com.  One of my closest friends met his wife on Match.  I chose eHarmony. I didn’t do serious research, but I did look at free services.  On the free sites, I saw that you could blink and wink and nudge or send a kiss or heart or an emoticon of your choice to people.  It seemed just a little too childish for me. I liked the eHarmony commercials and the process they described.

Q6:  What were your expectations of online dating services?  [He sighs and looks off across the street.  He shakes his head back and forth.]

Tigers Eye:   You know, I really don’t know.

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7 thoughts on “The Real Online Dating Experience Series: Male Case Study 1 (Interview #1)

    1. LOL…I suppose the margarita could have hampered his ability to respond to the questions. I don’t know. It could’ve been the heat. I guess I’d better use a different approach for his second interview.

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