First, click here to find out everything you need to know about this series.
Then, read the previous interviews to catch-up.
Male Case Study 2: Interview #1 (Introduction)
He shall be called Obsidian.
Read on to get to know him.
Make a comment or two.
Ask as many questions as you like.
Q1: Let’s begin at the beginning. What kind of man are you? In other words, how do you describe yourself? [I can’t see him. No Skype. No webcam. I have nothing except the sound of his eager voice. He launches into his first response before I touch the keyboard.]
Obsidian: Since this interview is about online dating…I was a single father who was dedicated to my daughter at the time—still am. I was a single man, too. I loved women—they are beautiful gifts from God. How can I say it? I was like honey and the women were like bees. They would just come to me. What I mean by that is I would have to go to my daughter’s school events and 90% of the people there were mothers, very few fathers. I got to know a lot of mothers who were depressed and took a liking to me. So I had a lot of female companionship. I tried to make it so my daughter didn’t know what was going on. But as she got older, I realized she needed something I couldn’t be—a mother. I needed a good model women. But the ladies I was meeting didn’t have what I was looking for.
Q2: It’s clear that a growing number of people are choosing to use online dating services. Some people are looking for the person of their dreams to marry and share a lifetime. Many want to establish new friendships. Others are just looking for a date for the night. What led you to consider an online dating service?
Obsidian: The type of women I was meeting weren’t the kind I wanted around my daughter. Online dating was suggested to me. I mean it’s one thing when you meet a girl and they are beautiful but you find that you have nothing in common. Online dating lets you see their pictures and read their profiles. If they have similar core values or similar likes and interests and activities, then you have a better chance of hitting it off. But it comes down to whether or not you are attracted to the person. Let’s be honest. It’s physical. You have to be attracted to them. You have to find something physical. You have to be attracted. Then you start reading their profiles and learn more things about them. It could make you want to meet them. I hope that people feel more liberal to be honest when you are on a first date. I like that people are more comfortable putting what they think when they’re online creating their profiles. If I read a profile and the girl says she likes to read a book by the fire or walk hand-in-hand in the park and a night she likes to get her booty slapped…I’m just saying they are more honest. They’re like, “Look, dude, this is what I like.” They’re just more honest. [I know you’re thinking the same thing I was at the time. Did he just say that? I’m typing frantically, trying to be serious and keep up, but laughter fills the air on both ends of the phone.]
Q3: My research shows that online dating services began in the late 1990s. These services have been around for 15 years or more and the number of services has grown. There seems to be a service available for everyone. What online dating services have you used and which one did you like best?
Obsidian: I’ve only used one—Match.com. They had a 90-day free trial period. [He stops suddenly.]
Q4 (Follow-up): Would you have tried it even if there hadn’t been a free trial period?
Obsidian: I still would have tried it even if it wasn’t free. A buddy of mine tried it and had a good experience on it. So I would have tried it. Now they even have some kind of algorithm they use to help match likes and dislikes. I don’t think they did on Match. I think that’s pretty cool.
Q5: What were your expectations of online dating services?
Obsidian: I really had none. Like I said before, the girls I was meeting didn’t have what I was looking for. I just wanted to see what it was like. I just wanted to try it.