A Letter to My Friend…Unwritten

A Letter to My Friend…Unwritten

I know that I’m in the middle of this online dating series (click here for more on that), but something else has been on my mind…

One of my closest friends-someone I’ve known for nearly 15 years—is going through a difficult time in her life right now.  In the past, when things took a bad turn, I found it easy to be there for her.  I knew when to listen.  I knew when to speak.  I knew what to say.  I don’t know how I knew, but I did.  I would give words of encouragement whenever she had trouble seeing the upside of an undesirable situation.  I could help ease her fears by reminding her of who she really is.  Every now and then, a more direct—I can’t believe you did that—approach was needed. I would say what others would not say to her.  Somehow, I felt assured that the right words would come to me for whatever her situation needed.  I can remember when a trip across town to sit down and chat in person was the only way to get down to what was really going on and what she needed to do or not do next.

I miss the time when we were living in the same city and could have face-to-face time during a crisis or just because we felt like it.  That was years ago.  Since then, we’ve learned how to cross the many states between us by mail, by phone, by wire, by email, by instant message, by text, by Facebook, by Skype, and by air. We adjusted to the distance.  We found ways to stay connected and oftentimes communication was fast enough that I would forget about the distance.

But now, things are different.

I only have one way to reach out to her.

I need to write my friend a letter.

I need to put pen to paper, soon.  I have been carrying around the same card for weeks.  Yet, its pages remain blank. There’s nothing normal about this.  I love to write.  I mean, I love the feel of just the right pen in my hand.  I love the dance between ink and paper, my hand and fingers, and pen.  This should be easy for me.  I know her situation. Yet, the card is empty.  My mind is even emptier when I look at its blank pages.

For the first time, I do not know what I could possibly say to help her.  I feel heavy with worry about the impact my words might have on her.  What if I say the wrong thing this time?  I won’t be able to quickly explain or clarify or apologize.  This is going to be a one-way conversation, at least, for awhile.

I want to say that everything will be alright and won’t last too long, but I don’t have a sense of it.   I want to say you’re not alone, but I know that’s exactly how she feels.  I really want to say it’s not that bad, but this time it does feel that bad.

She is waiting to hear from me, but I’m letting her down.  I have to write something, and I have to do it soon.  What should a letter to my friend say?

I can only hope that letting her know that she is loved unconditionally is enough.

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4 thoughts on “A Letter to My Friend…Unwritten

  1. Letting your friend know that they are loved unconditionally is enough! When someone is in a dark place and communication is one way, patience and unconditional love from the loved ones in their lives is an important and necessary ingredient in their recovery.

    Remember bandages (tho quick and cosmetic) does not always assist with the healing of a very deep wound. If in the past you have always come together from a place of love. Go there again. Even in bad times the thruth is always best. Don’t worry about having to explain yourself, speak from your heart.

    Stop putting it off, just sit down, open your heart, and start writing……. the words will come…

  2. I think that speaking from your heart is always the best even if it hurts. I’m in pain now, but I know and realize that having friends that speak the truth no matter what, is truly a “real” friend. Love is kind, honest, unconditional and trusting. As long as you spoke/wrote from your heart trust that everything is good regardless to the situation. Don’t be hard on yourself, God allows us to go through trails and tribulations for a reason that we don’t always understand. Trust me I know. Continue being the “true” friend that you are no matter how much distance it is or the limited communication channels! You’ve done it before in similiar situations, so I know you can do it now.

    1. I will have to read your post several times to remind myself that things will be alright. Thank you for reminding me of the love I have for my friends and that showing this can help during difficult times. I did send the first letter. I haven’t received a reply yet, but I’m going to go ahead and write another letter to her this week.

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