The Real Online Dating Experience Series: Male Case Study 1 (Interview #2)

The Real Online Dating Experience Series: Male Case Study 1 (Interview #2)

First, click here to find out everything you need to know about this series.

Then, read the previous interviews to catch-up.

Previous Interviews:  Male Case Study 1: Interview #1 (Introduction), Female Case Study 1: Interview #1 (Introduction), Male Case Study 2: Interview #1 (Introduction)Female Case Study 2:  Interview #1 (Introduction)

 

Male Case Study 1:  Interview #2–Profile and First Matches

Tigers Eye has some advice for women who are looking for decent guys.

Read on and let him know what you think.

 

Q1:  What was your mindset and how much effort did you put into writing your profile? [He smirks and almost looks as if he wants to laugh.]

Tigers Eye:  My mindset at the time was on having a new adventure.  I put a lot of effort in my profile because I wanted people to read it and understand exactly how I am.  I wanted no mistakes.  Anyone that meets me knows that how I am on the first date is how I am every time you meet me.  I wanted my profile…My profile was based on the relationship I had with my grandmother, my mother…and my aunts.  As I’ve previously stated, I’m really a guy that has always tried to understand women and be there for women.  So my profile was a true story.  I don’t know about anybody else, but my profile was as real as you could get.

Q2 (Follow-up):  What did you emphasis in your profile?

Tigers Eye:  Honesty.  Openness.  Having a partner. I wanted a free-spirited person.  Dedication.  But to be honest with you, a lot of women didn’t want that.  I got accused of being too nice.

Q3 (Follow-up):  How did you feel about being accused of being too nice just based on your profile?

Tigers Eye:  I just laughed when people stated I was so nice because I do have those deep down…I could be as rough as anyone.  But I liked to be nice and honest.  When people talked to me, they knew I was really honest.  I was truthful, honest.  I just a laughed and thought maybe these women should just wait on the next guy.

Q4:  Profiles with photos are said to get twice as many responses.  How did you feel about posting your photo?

Tigers Eye: I had no problem with it.  Why not post your photo?  My main reason for posting my photo was because if I was a woman I wouldn’t want to be looking at the same type of guy over and over.  I enjoyed looking at photos of different types of women.  I figured that women would want to do the same thing.

Q5 (Follow-up):  What kinds of photos were appealing to you?

Tigers Eye:  Let me be clear.  It wasn’t the photos.  It was the information I read in the profiles that interested me.  But a photo is always nice.  And one thing—don’t use glamor shot photos, just a regular picture being yourself is enough.  Use a photo that matches your profile.  [I urge him to explain.]  I saw a picture of woman with a snake wrapped around her, women with breasts hanging out. I saw women with pictures of themselves up in the club.  Back to my point, if a woman is looking for a decent guy, she should use an honest picture.  What I want to say is if the picture that you post represents you, then use it.  And one last thing, I don’t have to see every tattoo that you have on your body.

Q6:  What was the experience like when you saw your first matches online (for any site)?

Tigers Eye:  I think it was 170 matches the first time.  I said, “Wow.” [He seems to reflect on this with pleasure all over his face.]  I said, “Wow!” Then, I started reading and checking for my 30 mile limit.

Q7 (Follow-up):  What do you mean by a 30 mile limit?

Tigers Eye:  I was only willing to drive 30 miles no matter who it was.  If you lived past the 30 mile limit…delete. Period.  That was it.

Q8:  Describe your habits.  How did you work through the process? How did you interact with your chosen matches?

Tigers Eye:   First, I enjoyed the site process.  I liked the way eHarmony stated the questions [during guided communication].  I loved the steps that eHarmony used because I got to see if the other person could really communicate. One word answers got an immediate delete.  I chose people that made me get excited or gave me a happy feeling reading their profiles.  I’d read a profile and get this feeling that I really wanted to meet this person.  Sometimes the people I wanted to meet didn’t want to meet me.  eHarmony’s steps were a relief from my usual experience at my favorite late night spot.  At that point in my life, I enjoyed the night scene, but I was really hoping to meet someone. I thought eHarmony could help me do that.  I wanted to meet women who were different from those I met hanging out.

Q9 (Follow-up):  How much time did you spend on the site each day?

Tigers Eye:   Since I worked from home, I could just stay logged in.  I just kept hitting the refresh button.

Q10 (Follow-up):  How did you know that people didn’t want to meet you?  How did that make you feel so early in the process?

Tigers Eye:   They’d delete me or there was no response or I’d receive notification that I wasn’t a good match.  It didn’t bother me at all.  I was having a lot of fun doing what I was doing—hanging out with my friends—but the game was getting old.

Q11 (Follow-up): Really, getting rejected didn’t bother you at all?

Tigers Eye:   Somewhat.  But I didn’t lose any sleep over it. The next day I’d have more matches.  Plus I had friends introducing me to women, too.

Q12:  Overall, did you like the process? Why or why not?

Tigers Eye:  Overall, yes.  I liked the eHarmony process.  The reason I liked the process was because it gave me and the other person time to evaluate each other.  I didn’t have to rush like you had to on some of the other sites.  Someone would ask you a question.  You were able to ask them a question.  You had a chance to learn something about the person (if they were being truthful).

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