First, click here to find out everything you need to know about this series.
Then, read the previous interviews to catch-up.
Previous Interviews: Male Case Study 1: Interview #1 (Introduction), Female Case Study 1: Interview #1 (Introduction), Male Case Study 2: Interview #1 (Introduction), Female Case Study 2: Interview #1 (Introduction)
Male Case Study 1: Interview #2–Profile and First Matches
Tigers Eye has some advice for women who are looking for decent guys.
Read on and let him know what you think.
Q1: What was your mindset and how much effort did you put into writing your profile? [He smirks and almost looks as if he wants to laugh.]
Tigers Eye: My mindset at the time was on having a new adventure. I put a lot of effort in my profile because I wanted people to read it and understand exactly how I am. I wanted no mistakes. Anyone that meets me knows that how I am on the first date is how I am every time you meet me. I wanted my profile…My profile was based on the relationship I had with my grandmother, my mother…and my aunts. As I’ve previously stated, I’m really a guy that has always tried to understand women and be there for women. So my profile was a true story. I don’t know about anybody else, but my profile was as real as you could get.
Q2 (Follow-up): What did you emphasis in your profile?
Tigers Eye: Honesty. Openness. Having a partner. I wanted a free-spirited person. Dedication. But to be honest with you, a lot of women didn’t want that. I got accused of being too nice.
Q3 (Follow-up): How did you feel about being accused of being too nice just based on your profile?
Tigers Eye: I just laughed when people stated I was so nice because I do have those deep down…I could be as rough as anyone. But I liked to be nice and honest. When people talked to me, they knew I was really honest. I was truthful, honest. I just a laughed and thought maybe these women should just wait on the next guy.
Q4: Profiles with photos are said to get twice as many responses. How did you feel about posting your photo?
Tigers Eye: I had no problem with it. Why not post your photo? My main reason for posting my photo was because if I was a woman I wouldn’t want to be looking at the same type of guy over and over. I enjoyed looking at photos of different types of women. I figured that women would want to do the same thing.
Q5 (Follow-up): What kinds of photos were appealing to you?
Tigers Eye: Let me be clear. It wasn’t the photos. It was the information I read in the profiles that interested me. But a photo is always nice. And one thing—don’t use glamor shot photos, just a regular picture being yourself is enough. Use a photo that matches your profile. [I urge him to explain.] I saw a picture of woman with a snake wrapped around her, women with breasts hanging out. I saw women with pictures of themselves up in the club. Back to my point, if a woman is looking for a decent guy, she should use an honest picture. What I want to say is if the picture that you post represents you, then use it. And one last thing, I don’t have to see every tattoo that you have on your body.
Q6: What was the experience like when you saw your first matches online (for any site)?
Tigers Eye: I think it was 170 matches the first time. I said, “Wow.” [He seems to reflect on this with pleasure all over his face.] I said, “Wow!” Then, I started reading and checking for my 30 mile limit.
Q7 (Follow-up): What do you mean by a 30 mile limit?
Tigers Eye: I was only willing to drive 30 miles no matter who it was. If you lived past the 30 mile limit…delete. Period. That was it.
Q8: Describe your habits. How did you work through the process? How did you interact with your chosen matches?
Tigers Eye: First, I enjoyed the site process. I liked the way eHarmony stated the questions [during guided communication]. I loved the steps that eHarmony used because I got to see if the other person could really communicate. One word answers got an immediate delete. I chose people that made me get excited or gave me a happy feeling reading their profiles. I’d read a profile and get this feeling that I really wanted to meet this person. Sometimes the people I wanted to meet didn’t want to meet me. eHarmony’s steps were a relief from my usual experience at my favorite late night spot. At that point in my life, I enjoyed the night scene, but I was really hoping to meet someone. I thought eHarmony could help me do that. I wanted to meet women who were different from those I met hanging out.
Q9 (Follow-up): How much time did you spend on the site each day?
Tigers Eye: Since I worked from home, I could just stay logged in. I just kept hitting the refresh button.
Q10 (Follow-up): How did you know that people didn’t want to meet you? How did that make you feel so early in the process?
Tigers Eye: They’d delete me or there was no response or I’d receive notification that I wasn’t a good match. It didn’t bother me at all. I was having a lot of fun doing what I was doing—hanging out with my friends—but the game was getting old.
Q11 (Follow-up): Really, getting rejected didn’t bother you at all?
Tigers Eye: Somewhat. But I didn’t lose any sleep over it. The next day I’d have more matches. Plus I had friends introducing me to women, too.
Q12: Overall, did you like the process? Why or why not?
Tigers Eye: Overall, yes. I liked the eHarmony process. The reason I liked the process was because it gave me and the other person time to evaluate each other. I didn’t have to rush like you had to on some of the other sites. Someone would ask you a question. You were able to ask them a question. You had a chance to learn something about the person (if they were being truthful).