Why are so many people trying online dating?
This is one of the questions asked of participants during the first interview in the solsticesisters’ series about online dating. The series includes four case studies: two women (Honeysuckle and Poppy) and two men (Tigers Eye and Obsidian). Here’s what they had to say about what led them to consider an online dating service.
- Honeysuckle wanted more variety.
- Poppy spoke of a need for another way to meet new people.
- Obsidian wanted to meet a woman he could have around his daughter.
- Tigers Eye emphasized a desire to meet women with diverse backgrounds.
Listening to them talk about what made them open to online dating reminded me of why I tried it. I think back to what was going on in my life at the time…I remember being happy in my singleness. I lived alone in my little apartment, just one mile from the office. I had no real worries. There were those migraines, allergies, and sinus issues to deal with, but I was still reasonably healthy. I was debt-free for the first time in my adult life thanks to a discharged bankruptcy, which was the result of a bad business partnership with an ex-never-to-be-named-ever-boyfriend! What a true low life! But I came out of it better than ever. So life was a beautiful thing for me. I was dating a little here and there, but I was mostly focused on my own personal interests. I enrolled in a water color painting course. I, who couldn’t draw anything recognizable, suddenly decided that I wanted to teach myself how to paint. So I did. I was in love with the museum, too. Me, the environmental and chemical engineer, was all into art. It was great! Of course, there were some challenges, but nothing that I couldn’t handle. What I recall most is that at that point in my life I’d figured out how to have a little happiness every single day regardless of what was going on. This was essential for me. It was a significant growth stage for me.
So there I was living it up my way. I’d say I slept maybe five hours a night. I would frequently wake up in the middle of the night right in the middle of infomercial heaven. I kept seeing those eHarmony commercials. You’ve seen them. You either love them or you absolutely hate them. I was mesmerized by the couples telling their stories, but I was more intrigued by eHarmony’s matching system that used 29 key areas of compatibility. Remember, I’m an engineer. Analytical approaches are my thing. I was curious about how their system would characterize me. I was even more curious about what kind of person their system would say was my perfect match. After seeing the commercials a few times, I decided to begin the process needed to create a profile. I created a profile but didn’t activate my account. I just dropped the entire effort. I can’t remember why. It was 2006.
More than 12 months later, in 2007, I was still having the time of my life. I’d rid myself of two men no longer worthy of my time. I closed on my first home and moved in, still one mile from the office. I felt lucky, blessed. After about a month of getting settled into my place, I became curious about eHarmony again. This time I actually talked to my friends about it. No one in my circle had ever tried online dating. In fact, they were very skeptical about it. Only one friend had a friend who had tried it, and her experience wasn’t even a good one. My parents weren’t thrilled about me trying it either. But I wanted to know what was possible. I remember feeling nervous and even a bit scared about doing it, but my curiosity won out. There was no down side as far as I could see. I felt it was worthwhile if even just one good friendship resulted from the experience. So I signed up with eHarmony for three months, created my profile, activated my accounted, and began my journey into the world of online dating.
By the way, I did not post a photo.
Do you want to know why and how that worked for me?
Look for the answers in an upcoming post…