First, click here to find out everything you need to know about this series.
Then, read the previous interviews to catch-up.
Previous Interviews: Male Case Study 1: Interview #1 (Introduction), Female Case Study 1: Interview #1 (Introduction), Male Case Study 2: Interview #1 (Introduction), Female Case Study 2: Interview #1 (Introduction), Male Case Study 1: Interview #2 (Profile and First Matches), Female Case Study 1: Interview #2 (Profile and First Matches)
Male Case Study 2: Interview #2–Profile and First Matches
Obsidian breaks down the approach he used to write his unusual profile.
Did you use humor in your profile?
Q1: What was your mindset and how much effort did you put into writing your profile?
Obsidian: Nothing. I didn’t put any effort in it. I tried to be funny about it. I said I was 4 feet 10 inches with a wooden leg and that I weighed 285 pounds. I did that with a purpose. Instead of looking at external looks, it was important for me to find a God-fearing woman because I wanted her to be an example for my daughter.
Q2: Profiles with photos are said to get twice as many responses. How did you feel about posting your photo?
Obsidian: I started reading the profiles, and I took my picture down. The profiles I read by women…they would say what they liked in a man. They’d say a things like a kind man, family-oriented, etc. So I put it to the test. I said that I was the most hideous looking man but that I had the values they were looking for. I wanted to see if they were true to what they said they wanted. I wanted to see if they were shallow. I really made it a point to try to filter out the ladies who didn’t really mean they wanted a man with the qualities I knew I had. Then if the ladies responded to me, I would send them a picture because I knew they were true to what they said…If all they did was describe men with strong characteristics—a provider, a strong man—I would send them my photo after a few exchanges or when they requested it. The majority of them would laugh. I had one lady who actually said she felt relieved because she was going to feel shallow if she didn’t talk to me. A lot of women think men are shallow and we are, but women are very shallow too, in my opinion. [Well that’s honest. I can’t really argue with that. I know it’s true in some cases.]
Q3: What was the experience like when you saw your first matches online (for any site)?
Obsidian: I thought, damn! I should’ve been doing this a long time ago. [You know there’s lots of laughter after this statement.]
Q4: Describe your habits—how you interacted with a site process and with your chosen matches?
Obsidian: I was traveling. So about every two or three days I’d log on. If there were question, I’d respond. When I was on, I’d respond to four or five different ladies. I’d come back later in the week or a few days later. I gravitated to those women who were humorous.
Q5: Overall, did you like the process? Why or why not?
Obsidian: Yeah, I liked it. I just liked it. People feel more liberated to be more honest. When you speak face-to-face, some people try to be on their best behavior. When you are eating nothing is in their teeth. [He’s so hilarious. My side hurts from laughing.] If they have to pass gas, they’d be uncomfortable. But when you’re writing and email, you just relax and say what’s on the top of your head. The way I talk is the way I type, but the majority of the people I meet…they would try to be on their best behavior. Then two or three months later I’m like who are you? I don’t like you.