Revised Special Note: All final interviews for this series will–if all goes well over the hour–be posted tonight with the exception of Male Case Study #2, Obsidian…(2 of 3 posts)
It’s been a long time since I’ve posted about this topic, but I did promise to finish the series. If this is your first time reading any of the interviews in this series or if you need a quick refresher on what it’s all about, please click here.
Then, read the previous interviews to catch-up.
Previous Interviews: Male Case Study 1: Interview #1 (Introduction), Female Case Study 1: Interview #1 (Introduction), Male Case Study 2: Interview #1 (Introduction), Female Case Study 2: Interview #1 (Introduction), Male Case Study 1: Interview #2 (Profile and First Matches), Female Case Study 1: Interview #2 (Profile and First Matches), Male Case Study 2: Interview #2–Profile and First Matches), Female Case Study 2: Interview #2–Profile and First Matches, Male Case Study 1: Interview #3 (Dating, etc.), Female Case Study 1: Interview #3 (Dating, etc.), Female Case Study 2: Interview #3 (Dating, etc.), Female Case Study 1: Interview #4 (Final Say About Online Dating)
Female Case Study 2: Interview #4 (Final Say About Online Dating)
Poppy advises women to be cautious with online dating. Read on to learn more.
Q1: Are you still currently active on any online dating site? If not, what happened? Why not?
Poppy: Yes, I am. I’ve been on the current site [Christian Mingle] for almost two months, but I haven’t been checking stuff for about a couple of weeks. [Why? What’s different now?] I met someone on the site. So I decided not to continue talking to anyone else.
Q2: What’s different for you now than when you first started using online dating sites?
Poppy: For me, I think I have a better understanding of what I’m looking for and what’s out there—the different approaches the male suitors take. I’m more selective. I’m more careful when I’m selecting than I was before.
Q3: What are your lessons learned from the online dating experience?
Poppy: Even though you chat and communicate, you still have to be very aware and observant and get to know the person through personal contact and conversation. You can’t be in a rush to find a mate. [Amen! These things have their own timing.]
Q4: Have you been following the interview s of other participants in this series? If so, what stands out to you.
Poppy: I’ve read some of their responses. But after the last interview, I didn’t go back to check to see what other people had to say or what else had been written. It was interesting to see the different perspectives of each person but also to notice the similarities. For some of the questions you’d ask me, I’d give you an answer and then look at some of the other responses to the same question. Sometimes, it was like an aha moment because I’d read something and then realize I felt the same way…but I didn’t respond the same way at the time.
Q5: What advice do you have for men using online dating sites?
Poppy: Be honest. Be honest with yourself and the people you decide to talk to. State what you are looking for. Be cautious. Be open to communicating. [Did you find that most men weren’t open to communicating?] They seemed to be open to communicating whatever they thought the women wanted to hear. They were limited in sharing information. As a woman, you might think they are sharing a lot, but to them it’s not that important. I understand that men and women are different. As a woman, you have to be very vigilant and cautious.
Q6: What advice do you have for women using online dating sites?
Poppy: I think you need to be honest with yourself, what you are looking for, what you are willing to deal with—tolerate. Be honest in your profile about yourself. Be cautious. Just because he looks like he’s honest and handsome and everything, that doesn’t mean that that’s what he is. Be realistic about what you want and what is presented to you from the people you meet. I did say be cautious, right? Don’t meet him in a dark alley. Finally, make sure that the choices you make are really what you want. Don’t feel any pressure from outside sources. This could be the guy, a friend, or just society. That’s want I think. That’s what I’ve learned, and what I try to follow.